Friday, 23 August 2013

The Amazing Rejectomatic

Are you fed up of spending:
  • 6 months writing a book
  • 3 months revising it
  • 2 weeks writing a synopsis and covering letter
  • 2 hours tailoring your submission according to the agent’s instructions
  • 6 to 10 weeks waiting for a reply
Only to finally receive a form rejection?

Well, help is here at last, with the Amazing Rejectomatic! Simply enter a few details below about yourself and your book (even if it’s only an idea you had on the bus this morning) and within seconds you’ll have your very own personalised rejection letter! Print it, frame it, burn it – whatever you like and in just a fraction of the time!


Your Name:
Your Book Title:
What is the Book About? 
(ten words or less)


Your personalised rejection letter will appear here.

Please note that our agents and editors reserve the right to completely change their minds whenever it suits them. Try the Amazing Rejectomatic again, and you’ll probably get an entirely different response!

Only one thing is for sure, it’ll never be a yes.

Nick.

P.S. I'm taking another week off, so expect the next post on Friday 6th September.
Posted by Nick Cross at 12:00

25 comments:

  1. Unknown23 August 2013 at 12:49

    Brilliant, I love it!

    ReplyDelete
  2. LJ Moss23 August 2013 at 13:18

    Fantastic! My friend Marjorie Wrights was thrilled with her personalised rejection for The Dragon Fancier (epic about fancy dragons). This has made her day!

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  3. Vikki V23 August 2013 at 13:29

    Sounds exactly right! ha ha

    ReplyDelete
  4. John Shelley23 August 2013 at 14:00

    The bitter taste of rejection! I was convinced "Bummy goes Boing" (The adventures of Bummy and his very bouncy bottom), an idea I've been slaving over for 2 long minutes, was going to be my ticket to literary stardom!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maureen Lynas27 August 2013 at 17:59

      If blogger had a like button I'd have pressed it, John. Sounds like an excellent book.

      Delete
  5. Monologues4u23 August 2013 at 14:12

    Hilarious. This will save me so much time!

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  6. Jane Clarke23 August 2013 at 14:58

    Ha ha, rolling around laughing - well worth repeat attempts. Abigail Coronary-Bypass's remarks made me snort my afternoon tea.

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  7. Amanda Lillywhite23 August 2013 at 15:14

    Ah Deepak I felt so sure Tilly the Table was right for your list... sigh.

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  8. Unknown23 August 2013 at 15:25

    Sheer genius. Thank you!

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  9. Unknown23 August 2013 at 16:33

    The most lovely rejection and so fast! Thank you Rachel Rainbow but I am sure "Bunpire takes over the world" will find a place somewhere...

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  10. Yona23 August 2013 at 17:12

    Superb!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Stewart Ross23 August 2013 at 18:32

    My husband and I were delighted to find your wonderful Rejectomatic. It has really changed our lives and we would recommend it to all other writers looking for a speedy, cheap and efficient service.
    Mrs WS, Milton Keynes

    ReplyDelete
  12. Unknown23 August 2013 at 20:27

    I love it.

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  13. Addy Farmer23 August 2013 at 21:24

    At last - painless rejection is mine! I can't thank you enough!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Gill Hutchison24 August 2013 at 10:38

    Right world - I'm ready for you now! After this rejection nothing can ever upset me any more.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Jackie Marchant24 August 2013 at 10:38

    Brilliant! I think I'll give it to my agent to make her work easier!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nick Cross24 August 2013 at 13:41

      Clearly, I need to investigate the franchise rights...

      Delete
  16. Anonymous25 August 2013 at 10:13

    At last, some honest feedback. Think I will give up writing and retrain as a toilet attendant.

    ReplyDelete
  17. gerrybeee26 August 2013 at 15:29

    Oh to have such a rejection in real life. I am going to submit all my work to your Rejectomatic

    ReplyDelete
  18. gerrybeee26 August 2013 at 15:39

    Seriously, Nick, you are onto something with this. I often ask my friends who are, like me, procrastinating over sending stuff out: What is the worst that can happen? What can they say?
    I'm going to recommend it to all my friends as an inocculation against self-doubt.
    (Actually got an encouraging and swift 'send the whole thing' from the agent I sent my adult crime novel to. Lesson: bite the bullet, folks. just do it.)

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  19. Odette27 August 2013 at 10:30

    Brilliant! Thank you!

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  20. Maureen Lynas27 August 2013 at 18:02

    Lovely, Nick, just lovely. In fact it's loveliness gone mad. Uber lovely. Mega lovely in fact.

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  21. Jan Carr31 August 2013 at 09:21

    It's taken me all this time to think of a title to use in the rejectomatic!
    Brilliant thing Nick! i love it

    Actually now I've thought of a title I'm thinking - hey it's not that bad - might work on it

    ReplyDelete
  22. Unknown20 October 2013 at 04:24

    Wonderful. The letter has finally given me hope. I AM on the right track, after all!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Candy Gourlay7 June 2014 at 17:22

    I missed this before! Amazing!

    ReplyDelete

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